I woke up this morning feeling just the same. Tired and groggy as always! You see of late I had not been enjoying my desk job so much! I thought I had the same routine to follow and I thought it would be just another day!
But then a chance glance to my cellphone screen changed it all! Some twenty odd friends and family who barely would ever text me, sent me ‘Happy Women’s Day’ messages! Oh it’s 8th of March, I realized. I decided to scan through the messages.
Some messages were extremely heartfelt. Like a male friend wrote, “Thank you for being in my life, Happy women’s day”. I smiled big looking at it! For him, women’s day was a day when he hand wrote messages to all women in his life and thanked them for their contribution in it! How beautiful!
I hoped people stuck to doing just that today. Spreading love, lauding the women in their lives, leaving personal messages celebrating who she was. I would have even loved to read posts on how far we had come from being considered the “weaker sex” toΒ being considered world leaders in our own little spheres.
But then no, my luck ran out, and there they came, those painfully long, absolutely cringey messages that do rounds each year on whatsapp and Facebook walls. Those messages that remind you that a woman is special because she changes her name for you, leaves her house for you, carries your baby for 9 months, puts on weight, births your child after hours of painful labor, so he/she can still carry your name. That a woman must be respected because she is an epitome of sacrifice, that she handles both work and home perfectly, that she works like she has 10 hands. blah blah!
Really? What if she did not change her name after marriage, refused to move in with her in-laws, proudly built a new space for herself and her husband, decided to never carry a child, prioritized work over family sometimes, sacrificed nothing for you and sometimes failed to be perfect at the balancing act? Would she still be a woman worthy of your respect on IWD? Read these line again and you’d find that these lines perfectly describe an average male, not all, but most.
They’re not expected to leave their houses, change their surnames, juggle work and home both (although I am proud to say, I’ve come across wonderful men who do it with absolute finesse), sacrifice a prolific career for his wife and let her take the lead. Not a lot is expected of men and hence, on Men’s Day, 19th of November(yes, it exists), we do not see a lot of messages doing the rounds that portray a man to be the ultimate epitome of sacrifice. Only because he’s not expected to be one!
Think! Are we empowering women this way, by perpetuating gender roles and lauding women for doing exactly what the modern day society expects of them. Do this, do that and more and you’re the perfect woman and we want to celebrate you because it’s 8th of March!
No! We’re burdening them again. We’re dishing out to her new rules to abide by! For example, previously a woman was to take care of her kids and her family back home. Now she’s supposed to do that and also be a bread winner along side her darling husband.
Sad, Don’t you think?
So it was Lunch already now and I met my husband and asked him why he had not wished me a happy IWD yet? To which he promptly did. I asked him next, why had he wished me?(I am generally not this torturous, trust me!) He told me because I love him so much and because I take care of the house so well. To this I replied, so do you! You love me and you’re awesome at home taking care of everything, so how am I special? To which he said, you’re not, you’re equal.
And that was music to my ears! I didn’t want to feel special today, I didn’t want flowers or breakfast in bed, I didn’t want him to put me on a pedestal and make me feel like a Goddess with no flaws today, because I am not. I am human just like him and that’s what I wanted him to celebrate.
And that’s what we all should celebrate this Women’s day and all year round. Celebrate that she now has a voice as loud as yours and if not, give her one. Celebrate that she has rights equal to yours and if not, help her stand for it. Celebrate that she can now make mistakes just like you and not be judged any harshly than you will, Celebrate that now she’s equal to you. Celebrate because 8th of March and 19th of November isn’t just another day! π
Great post thanks I agree!!
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Thanks so much! Your encouragement is so valuable π
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Enjoyed reading your blogpost. I agree every point you kept here about woman. Not just one day but everyday is a women’s Day. She deserves respect, equality and her own identity.πππ
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Thanks so much! I hope you stop by more often! Happy blogging π
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Yes …Regular visit for sureπππ
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Haha! Thanks β€
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I agree we should think and work on it b
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Thanks so much agreeing π Makes me feel we have a great future ahead!
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Definitely you will. ππ
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Love this post and how you exposed the internal misogyny that society pushes towards young women in the form of their βgoalsβ
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Thanks for resonating my thoughts! I visited your blog and was so impressed by the content! Hope to read more from you…. β€
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So true, very well written!!
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Thank you so much Sudha. I am glad you agreed. Please stop by again π
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Great post I loved it. And I can say am grateful for this day because
1) it just brings some light in my life. I say so because to me womenβs day is the day where a woman was being included in this society and also heard out loudly, out of her discomfort zone to express herself and most importantly saying NO. Because I believe NO is a sentence.
2) I agree that we should celebrate this day as equals
And lastly itβs because ( I will a little clichΓ© over here) I like breakfast in bed, a boutique of flowers π or a cute message that will put a smile on my face. And I will gladly do it of Menβs day π
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Absolutely, I completely agree there! Thank you so much for taking time out and reading it through. Your comment made my day! Hope we connect more often now ππ
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Me too. βΊοΈβΊοΈ
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Awesome post… Totally agree with uπ―
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Thank you so much… means a lot π
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Just like a picture I saw on Facebook celebrating women because they have ten hands to take care and bear the burden of the family. It’s a social misconstruct that women should be celebrated for their sacrifices and not for their uniqueness and this makes me mad. We have a long way to go.
I love your blog btw
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Hey those are exactly my thoughts! Long way to go but we’re getting there β€ I love your blog by the way. I am not too fashionable, I followed so I can take cues from you. Lots of love β€
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Thank you!
Yes we’re getting there
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β€
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she deserves everything in the world π
nice post dr
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Thank you so much. Means a lot to me π
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welcome dr
β€
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β€
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I loved reading this. Iβve never been one to think someone is better than someone else based on color, religion and least of all gender. If a man can do something then so can a woman and if a woman can then do can a male (except labor but thatβs kind of out of our control) and trust me I would take my turn at labor if it was possible. Equal is exactly how I believe people should be. Not one sex is better or more entitled to rights more than the other. We are all human at the end π
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Absolutely! Thank you for reading and for the lovely comment.
I feel if we have more people who share your thoughts, racism and sexism will be a thing of the past π
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Great article! On IWD I got messages from a bunch of my women friends. I am so lucky that I have a lot of runner-friends. These women are powerful, graceful and strong. This makes them kind, engaged, and generous. They feel good about themselves. The best kind of friends to have!
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Thank you Laurie for your kindness! I am so glad to hear that you’re surrounded by such positivity and love π Hope to learn a lot from your blog too β€
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Such a heart warming post. Love it. π
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Thank you Angela. Means so much to me β€
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there’s nothing chaotic about this powerful liberating post. Here’s to you and your voice
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Thanks so much. You have no idea how this means β€ β€
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your most welcomed…
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